Tag Archives: If

One day without stress would be nice.

If you know me, you know that I am a very anxious person. Although I can’t help the way I am, it really does affect the way my life is. Even when I have nothing stressful coming up, or its a vacation or a day off, I still always feel a sense of pressure coming at me from all different directions. And even when I am not at work, I tend to not be able to leave work related issues and their backdoor and they follow me home. I never feel at ease and it is bothersome. For a short period of time I was doing a little bit better stress wise because we had a little extra help at work, but now that that is over, I am right back to be stressed out. Next time I take a few days off, I plan on really trying to relax and block everything out, even just for a couple of days.

My latest stress is this problem I have been having with my arm for almost the past year. My arm had been bothering me for a while, but recently it has gotten worse. I am one of those people who continue to put health related things on the back burner but this is one thing I could no longer put off. Had it been my left arm I probably would have still been putting off going to the doctor, but considering I am right-handed and do a lot of writing at work and at home, I kind of need the use of my arm. Problem with my arm is that it feels as though I have a tourniquet tied around my arm. That is the best way I can describe it. Sometimes I get pins and needles in my hand and fingers and other times my whole arm is numb. At times I also get numbness and tingling in the lower half of my face. It is very bizarre. Three annoying doctors visits later I am a little closer to a diagnosis but nobody can tell me anything conclusive.

I have had x-rays, emg’s, ekgs, bone tests, muscle tests, and the only thing the doctor told me was that I have to go to intense physical therapy three times a week for the next three months, and hopefully that will help this discomfort go away. He also told me that it won’t be a permanent fix but it should definitely help. I am bummed that there is no permanent fix for this problem, and I am bummed that I have to go to therapy. It;’s not so much the therapy I am not thrilled about, it is the money. Money is an issue I am having right now, but I’ll get into that in another blog later down the line. At 50 bucks a pop 2-3 times a week its going to become very expensive. By the time I have finished the therapy, it will have cost me about 1800 dollars. I would gladly shell it out if I could be sure that this would be done and over with, but I am skeptical. Anyway I am going to try not to be so stressed out about my arm only because people are understanding. They know I am a hard worker, and that if I need to take a break or just take it a little easy for a while then they are okay with that.


On a kind of off subject note, here is how my Monday morning went. Had to wake up and get ready to get that stupid EMG done. Even though I took one of my pills this morning I was still really nervous and I thought I was just going to cancel that appointment, but I decided to just be a big girl about it haha The test wasnt horrible but then again it wasnt terribly pleasant. At first he was just using different kind of wavelengths or whatever with this little metal thingie to shock and stimulate my muscles and the shocks felt funny but it wasnt that bad. I knew the test also involved needles, but I wasnt prepared for this type. A longish needle that has to anchor itself in the muscle so it can get a good reading. That part of the needle isn’t so bad because it is just chilling there. All in all the worst part of the test was when he asked my to lift my arm up as he pressed the needles as deep as he could into my arm. It didn’t hurt is was severely unpleasant. Then the doctor took some x-rays of my neck because he wanted to make sure I didnt have an extra rib or something. Anyway this is when the doctor came back out and told me about the physical therapy. I was exhausted after taking that xanax so I stopped and got coffee to try to wake me up then I headed to work. No sooner did I get in the building, I get the usual bombardment of nonsense from staff and residents, and finally made it back to the office. I didn’t even have my coat off yet and my boss is giving me all this paperwork and piles of things to do. I usually don’t mind because I love that she relies on me. I was still wound up though from my appointment and I was doped on my pills so I was having a hard time comprehending what she was saying. Even though I went to work late today, I still managed to get everything finished that she asked me to do. I was so proud of myself for that. We now have to do mostly everything on the computers now, so I put everything I had to in the computer, and still managed to get everything done with a few minutes to spare. I stayed an hour later to finish up, plus I have to make up the time anyway. I took one of my co-workers home and spent a little bit of time with her, and then I finally got home and took my bath and now going to relax for the rest of the evening. I haven’t had such a lousy Monday in a while, but let’s just hope that tomorrow brings good things.