That’s why I pick and choose, I don’t get ish confused.

That’s Why I Pick and Choose; I Don’t get Ish Confused…

            I met a girl a few years ago at a convenience store, and we became fast friends. Usually I am a pretty good judge of character and I don’t hang out or associate with people that can potentially get me into trouble. I am not a prude by any means, but I don’t like to be around people that party to much, do drugs, and do immoral things. I am not perfect, I smoke my cigarettes and my weed, but I have perfect attendance at my job, always help people out, and am generally a good person. This girl got me into a different type of trouble, and that trouble was a boatload of stress. It’s a shame, because when I was with her we did have a good time. There were times when she had me laughing so hard that my stomach hurt, but there were other times that she had me so angry that I wanted to strangle her. I think the whole thing is my fault because I never let her know she made me angry or did things that I didn’t like.

            Why did I put up with it? To this day, I am still not sure. Here are the reasons why she turned out to be a bad friend. First of all she is an extremely needy person, and it was definitely overbearing .Until she got a car, she expected me to give her rides all over the place, and never offered me money for gas, or even a thank you. Over the course of her friendship I had “lent” her so much money that I just lost track. Never once got paid back. There maybe have been a handful of times during the friendship that she offered to pay for dinner, coffee, whatever. That’s another thing that just seemed to be expected of me, and like a fool I fell for it over and over again. I used to drop what I was doing to run to her attention. It was always what she wanted to do, when she wanted to do it.  If she would call me in the middle of the night and I didn’t answer, she would call and call until I finally picked up. Every single time it was someth8ing that could have waited until the morning. Like I know it is exciting that your sister in law went into labor, but being that it is not a quick process, you could have told me in the morning. And when I would ask she had the nerve to get mad at me. I helped her pack and unpack her house multiple times, watched her dog, cleaned, helped her study, and helped her search for jobs. Pretty much anything someone can use you for, I was a target.

            She is a very selfish person, and does not even realize it. Her, her, her is all I ever heard. And, when she had girlfriends, she would put me on the backburner, and only call or text to tell me things that had happened to her and ask me advice on whatever was going on. Every time I gave her advice, I knew I was r8ight, and she knew it too but she refused to listen. Why ask for advice if you are not even going to bother to listen? Every time she got dumped, of course she came crying to me, and I was always there to have her back and comfort her, and I was number one again. It was rare if she ever asked anything that was going on in my life.  And if she did, she was very uncaring about it. Now, even though I didn’t care about everything all the time, I still at least acted like I cared. I am not a person that looks for or expects anything, I never was. But aren’t friendships give and take? Not just take take take.

            After losing her job things kind of went more downhill then they already were. Her landlord decided that her house was to much to keep up with, so he decided to sell the house. Now, her two roommates weren’t thrilled ahbout having to move but they did what they had to do and found places to go. I agree that the landlord didn’t give them much time to get out, but they didn’t have a ooroblem finding a spot. Now my friend on the other hand never found a spot so she ended up staying in her car beauwe none of her family member would take her in, even for a little bit. I don’t blame them, she was the same way with her family that she was with me. Unfortunalty she still didn’t get it. She always thought they were I nthe wrong when in fact it was always her. One example was when her aunt had invited her to thanksgiving dinner a long time in advance, and when it caqme time her girlfriend asked her like a day before and she ditched her family to go to the girlfriends house. I would have been dissapoointed to. And her living situation, she even asked to move in with me, but my parents said absolkutely not, and I don’t blame them either.

            I really was stressed out the whole friendship becauwe I always felt extremely used and one sided but like I said in the beginning, it was my fault because I nevber opened my mouth. Anytime I would try, she would just change the subject and once again going on the tangent about herself . When she finally moved away, I didn’t know where she went, what she was doing, anything.  We would keep in touch via text messaging once in a while, but to be honest, my stress level went down tenfold. I still had the stress from family and job, but it was nothing like what she put me through. I still can’t believe she thinks she was right all the time.

            Now, this girl had been a lesbian since she knew what lesbians were, and that didn’t bother me at all. I have dabbled with women myself. A couple weeks ago though, she called me and told me that she now has a boyfriend. Of course I was shocked. And of course it is not a nice person. This man is nearly 40, has 8 kids, and doesn’t do anything with his life. Now my friend has lost over a 100 pounds and she was happy with him, but I had a hard time understanding how that could happen. Yesterday she called me and asked where I was at because she was in the area. It wasn’t even hey tiff how you doing, what’s new? It was me and guy is taking a break, look at my weight loss, etc. I let her come over here and she stayed less then 20 mjinutes. The whole time she was here she talked about herself, and I was really annoyed. She kept asking if I had anything to eat, any soda, snacks, and I really didn’t have anything here. I had 3 mini pieces of pizza that my dad had given me for dinner ,and she decided to help herself before she walked out the door. She kept texting this dude and calling him and it was a really unenjoyable experience. So just this once I did open my mouth. I said to her “You haven’t seen me in almost 2 years, and all you can do is talk about yourself and this dude” and she just laughed and told me to shut up. I think that was the final straw and when I have enough guts, which I think I am just going to have to do, it to tell her in a nice way everything that is going on. She really needs to focus on getting her shit together and not relyhing so much on other people. She needs to get herself as job, save money and find her own place to live, and just act like a normal 26 year old person. Two more last thoughts. I know that if this dude dumps her she will call me right away and expect me to do something about it. And the second thing is that if I do decide to tell her everything, I know she will think I am wrong, so I have to figure out how to deal with that right away. I guess as long as I know that I am right, it shouldn’t matter .but there is always that part of me that is ephemerally guilty even when there is no need to be.

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